By: Shazia Yousuf
I prayed. I prayed even harder as the days passed. Day and night I kept asking Him, pleading my case, beckoning Him to bestow His mercy and make things happen for me. I was sure what I was asking for, was what I definitely wanted. So I went on with my prayer, each night, each day.
Days passed, The Divine Being didn’t seem to pay heed to my humble requests. And then I started having doubts. Was I being too demanding? I wondered if I really deserved what I desired. Was I worthy of less or was I worthy of more, or did I deserve this or did I deserve that? I was now extremely confused.
Then finally one day after finishing my prayer, when I raised both hands, I did not ask. I only wept. I wept, for I knew not what I should ask. I had no words that could tell God how helpless I felt, not being able to tell what I actually wanted. My mind and my tongue were not on my side. So I chose my soul to speak for me, for a soul expresses what words cannot. The soul chose the language of tears. So I sat on the prayer rug, the soul now did the praying for me, and tears kept rolling down my cheeks...
And while I wept I got totally disconnected from the outside world, even from my own self, and I felt as if I was gradually retiring into a peaceful abode, and while drowning deep within I found solace. And then it dawned upon me…
I realized, tears are a gift, hearts answer to Divine love, a means of submission, a way of expressing gratitude, of surrendering to The Divine Will to let Him guide in the direction of what is best, a gift that takes you close to the Lord. Once you are there, the path starts to show up, slowly and gradually right in front of you.
Pondering over the following quote by Ammachi:
"The state that we attain by calling and crying to God is equal to the bliss that the yogi experiences in samadhi.";
I believe one needs not spend ages trying to master sitting in the lotus position, or hold one’s breath in order to meditate. All you need is to remember Him with your heart and soul, and allow your soul to communicate. You may not be granted what you started out to pray for, but you will definitely be guided towards the path that is best for you.
This article seeks inspiration from the following video: http://www.monkeysee.com/play/6007-why-do-people-cry-in-prayer